The Truth in My Toes

The truth
in my toes
is that I want to be free
more than I want to be safe

I feel full in my belly
when I admit it

The cavernous
ravenous
hunger

that plagues me most nights
is filled from below 
with swirling galaxies of stars
and I am satiated

I want to be free
more than I want to be safe

Perhaps a sentiment 
shared by ancestors leaping from ships
to drown in the safety of liberation

I will not die in chains 
we say
I will live free 
or die
and return to greater freedom

The whisper of capitalism
tries to seduce me back to fear
with fear
like a
murderous lover 
who uses honey to drown me
because they know I love it
and they want me to get off
so they give me what I like

But today I choose fullness
in my belly
so I do not ache to be drown 
in fear 

It was a fun kink
in my past

but I can admit 
it’s time

to move past 
fear and honey 
and familiar fetishes

To see what lies beyond 
in my belly full of stars

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From my unpublished book of poetry, Eat Your Trauma

Photo by Aldebaran S on Unsplash

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