Miscalibrated
how to mend your internal equity compass
In a world where we navigate the complexities of intersectionality every day, wouldn’t it be great if we had an internal equity compass that pointed us toward justice and liberation? That way we could always have the clarity we need.
Well, the good news is you already have an internal equity compass!
The bad news is, it’s miscalibrated. Instead of pointing toward justice or liberation, your internal equity compass points towards oppression. That’s why, when one of your privileged identities notices it has harmed someone with a marginalized identity, you look to your internal equity compass for what to do and it says, “Feel shame!” Or you do you best and get recognition and your internal compass points towards, deflection, self-deprecation, and shyness; away from community, celebration, and pride. You think, “No, no. That can’t be the right direction.” But your compass only points towards shame and aloneness…
Anyone who’s been doing anti-oppression (healing) work for a while has probably noticed that their internal compass doesn’t point them towards shame as often as it used to. Congratulations! You’ve already done some work to recalibrate your internal equity compass!
What is an internal equity compass?
We each have an internal compass that points us toward “right” and away from “wrong”. This calibration is culturally based. What is considered “right” or “wrong” differs from culture to culture. Depending on the age of the learners, we call this process socialization or assimiliation. If you’re reading this, you were likely socialized or assimilated into a culture of oppression.
Oppression is the culture of colonized, Western society so we were taught the norms, values, and practices of our culture of oppression. We were punished if we did not comply with these cultural norms, values, and practices so we learned to obey. The process of being socialized or assimilating was the process of calibrating our internal compass to point to oppression.
We internalized the oppression.
We learned to think and act from oppressoin. Oppression became our internal guide for how to think and act to fit in and avoid punishment. It was smart to comply and survive. But now our thoughts, feelings, and actions are calibrated to lead us to the horror of oppression every time. We abolish slavery but create a Prison Industrial Complex. We preach Inclusion, but create Cancel Culture. We recreate oppression because that’s where our thoughts, feelings, and actions lead us. Until we recalibrate our internal compass, we cannot create a world beyond oppressoin because we cannot even think of one.
Recalibration is possible
Luckily, human beings are lifelong learners so you can recalibrate your internal compass. If you feel that being calibrated toward oppression no longer serves you, you can recalibrate your thoughts, feelings, and actions to point toward liberation. This is not complicated, but it will take time and it may not feel easy. Each time your internal compass points to toward oppression, you can recalibrate in that moment. You can strengthen and refine your calibration over time.
The challenge
It is risky to practice noncompliance with oppression. Your body may remember the punishments you received before you calibrated your body, mind, and heart to live in compliance with the culture of oppression. Your rational, logical mind will point out the many ways oppression will punish you for your noncompliance. You can’t just rest when you’re tired, your job says produce. You can’t just be honest with white people, they’ll get you fired. You can’t just do what you want, there will be consequences...
Yes. There will be.
You get to choose what percentage of the consequences you experience are the consequences of compliance with oppression (self-abandonment, self-hatred, anxiety, depression) versus noncompliance with oppression (backlash at work, impacts on relationships, uncertainty).
But don’t worry, you can recalibrate at your own pace and use your human intelligence to make decisions that honor the complexities of your life.
If you are ready to recalibrate your internal equity compass here’s how to start
Recalibrate your internal equity compass:
LEARN to feel and express emotions.
Oppression persists because we are unwilling or unable to feel our grief, fear, and shame. When we cannot feel these emotions, we resort to oppressing ourselves and others in order to stifle them. See Aliveness as a liberatory practice. If you don’t know where to start, practices of full emotional expression can help!
ADOPT a new set of guiding principles and practices.
If will not use oppressive practices like violence, perfectionism, or urgency as guiding principles, what will we use? You use The 18 Liberatory Practices of Liberated Being.
REFLECT on how it’s going using your new guiding principles and practices. Using liberatory practices does not mean you will get the outcomes you want in every moment, but what did you learn? Each time you use a new principle or practice you will learn something new. Integrating your learning IS your recalibration. Some people find it easy to reflect as they go, but if you want more structure to support your reflection, you can use a journal, recalibrate with a friend, or join one of my small group cohorts.
CELEBRATE small wins.
In liberation work, we don’t diminish a victory with comparison. We notice any and all victories with appreciation - See Celebration as a liberatory practice. Oppression is unlikely to be gone from our lives tomorrow, but we can celebrate each moment that we act in service of Aliveness and liberation rather than oppression. Celebration nourishes us on the long road to success.
Obviously, these four steps are not small steps. I’ve been working on step one for a decade. But everything you invest in the liberation of the interdependent life on this planet will come back to you amplified. There is no wasted time, money, or effort.
Collective liberation is a gift that keeps on giving.
So give it all you got!
Photo by Nicole Avagliano on Unsplash